(OPENING THEME PLAYING)
(ALARM BLARING)
Titans.
(TIRES SCREECHING)
Time to teach H.I.V.E.
how to play nice, Titans.
Oh, and since Mammoth is
the biggest and baddest,
he's all mine.
Titans, go!
(GRUNTING)
Robin, could I assist you
with an eye blast?
(GRUNTS) No way, Star.
Mammoth is all mine!
(GRUNTING)
Are you sure you don't
need a hand, bro?
I've got two
very small ones to lend.
No!
(BEEPING)
I want to make this last.
(GRUNTS) You know...
To teach him a lesson!
(SCREAMING)
Let me guess,
we're waiting on Robin again.
(GRUNTS)
Yes!
So, who's carrying
him home this time?
(GROANING) Great job, Titans!
Bet you're all
as exhausted as I am!
Uh, not particularly.
All I really did was stare in
the enemy's general direction.
Love the attitude.
(GROANS)
But I know your every
muscle is screaming
in excruciating pain.
Nope, don't have muscles.
And mine are all like,
"It's all good, dude.
"Peace and L-O-V-E."
So, basically, thanks to
your superpowers,
taking down one of
the deadliest threats to
the planet is no big deal?
-Uh-huh.
-Yep.
-Pretty much.
-Exactly.
Huh, that's cool.
(YELLING)
Problem, Robin?
It's not fair,
I do just as much
as all of you,
but because you
have superpowers,
you get to be super lazy.
Super lazy? You're crazy!
It was so far away!
Sure, Robin, powers make
some things easier,
but mostly they're a curse.
Curse? Please.
Well, look at me.
who wants to be your friend
when you're basically
the spawn of
an intergalactic demon?
She's right, Robin.
All my life everyone has always
looked at me like a freak.
And it's been so long
since I felt the sweet
sensation of knee skin.
I am going to make
the meatloaf for dinner.
The only curse
would be how bad
I'd make you look.
Guess we'll never know.
since the only way guys
like you get super powers
is through super horrible
freak accidents.
Super horrible
freak accidents.
That's it!
All right. Ready, buddy?
Just going to merge our DNA.
No big deal.
(CHIRPING)
What are the
superpowers of a robin?
Well, uh, good question.
Flight, picking things up off
the ground with your mouth.
Your crazy old bird feet.
Stuff like that.
Nothing like a little
lab disaster to give
you superpowers.
(BLEEPING)
(CRASHING)
(SCREAMING) Bad idea!
Bad idea! Bad idea!
(GROANING)
(ROBIN CAWING)
I can't believe my luck!
I just washed my car
and it's all ready covered
in bird dookie.
Sorry, my bad.
(GASPS) Oh!
What happened to you?
And what are you doing
pooping on my car?
Ugh!
I tried to give
myself superpowers.
By turning yourself
into "The Chicken"?
(SIGHS) Guess it
didn't really work out
like I was hoping.
Does this mean
you finally realized
superpowers are a curse?
No way!
This doesn't count...
(GASPS) Wait...
One sec!
(GRUNTS)
This doesn't count
since I didn't get any powers.
I almost want to
give you superpowers.
Just to teach you a lesson.
You can give me powers?
Of course I can,
but you'd have to be sure this
is something you really want.
(CAWS)
(CLEARS THROAT)
That was a yes.
Okay,
but before I can
there's something
you need to do.
What?
Don't play dumb,
you know exactly what.
I'm not doing
the chicken dance for you.
-Chicken dance!
-No!
-Chicken dance!
-Nope!
Dance of the chicken!
(DISCO MUSIC PLAYING)
-(BIRDS CACKLING)
-Happy?
You almost
made me smile.
Almost.
Now, don't say
we didn't warn you.
Azarath Metrion Zinthos!
(MAN VOCALIZING)
Heat vision!
Stop it!
-Freeze breath!
-Come on!
-Super speed!
-Hey!
Telekinesis!
Tele...
Move things with
your mind powers!
Really?
This is awesome!
Just remember,
with great power comes
greater responsibility.
The burden
you'll be asked to carry
will be even bigger.
You'll definitely
be different than all
of your friends, dude.
Did I mention we are having
the meatloaf for dinner?
Yes, Robin, you will be
forever a stranger
in a world
that can never
truly understand you.
-A curse.
-A curse!
-A curse.
-Meatloaf.
Wrong!
This is going
to be great!
Wait till he sees
what it's really like.
He won't be smiling then.
I almost feel sorry
for the guy.
I'm back!
You were gone for
less than a blurtbot!
Super speed! Thanks, Raven!
(GROWLS)
So you know the pain
of having super powers,
the agony?
Nope. It was great!
I rounded up every
super villain
and put them in jail.
In three seconds?
I also used my powers
to grow crops
and solve world hunger.
I ended all wars too.
Oh, is that all?
And I made
meatloaf for dinner.
Joy!
So you're saying you solved
all the world's problems?
Uh-huh.
And there are no more
super villains to battle?
You know it!
Then I guess
we don't have to be
Teen Titans anymore.
That's right... Wait! What?
Nice going, Robin.
You just put us all
out of a job.
Guess this is goodbye.
-See ya!
-RAVEN: Later.
I will miss you all.
Wait. What am I gonna do?
Get a new job, I guess.
Let's see.
It says here, you worked
for the Teen Titans.
Yes, sir. Uh, we were
a team of superheroes.
Were? You were fired?
Well, no. Not fired.
Just disbanded.
I kind of solved
all the world's problems.
Right.
And under special skills
you listed X-ray vision.
Yup.
You start Monday.
(SNORING)
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
(SIGHS)
(BABY WAILING)
(MACHINE BEEPING)
What happened?
Where did it go wrong?
Where did I lose my purpose?
Ah! It was when
I got my powers.
(SNIFFS)
They were right.
These powers were a curse.
In your face, Robin.
(LAUGHS WEAKLY)
Vindication.
Uh-huh! That's right.
Super powers are a curse,
curse, curse, cursity,
curse, curse, curse!
See, told you so.
Curse!
(ECG FLATLINING)
(POPCORN POPPING)
(LAUGHING)
Only two more hours
till the 3 AM Zom-Pire
movie marathon.
(EERIE ORGAN MUSIC PLAYS)
Are you guys as excited as me?
(ALL AGREEING WEAKLY)
Oh, yeah.
Zombies and vampires.
(SNORING)
Come on, Beast Boy.
Wake up!
(SNORING)
We've been waiting
all week for this.
Wake up!
(SCREAMING) Wake up!
(THUDDING)
(SNORING)
(EXCLAIMS)
I'm up!
Why do they get to sleep?
Starfire is not sleeping. See?
(HORN BLOWS)
I am up!
And Raven was just
resting her eyes.
I'm up.
Last warning, guys.
Fall asleep
and I start drawing
mustaches again.
(SNORING)
(YAWNING)
(CLEARS THROAT) Hey,
what's the pen for, Cyborg?
Why is it so easy
for me to stay awake?
You are half robot.
(YAWNING) There is less
of you to get tired.
(ALL YAWNING)
You know,
this isn't the first time
you guys have ruined things
with your flesh and blood
and more flesh.
As soon as I get
this baby humming
it's vaca time!
Hold this a sec.
(GROANS)
(GROANING)
Why can't you guys be
awesome like me?
Super strength.
Fireproof armor.
High jump moves,
and power!
Maybe one day we'll all
benefit from an accident
that requires us to replace
several body parts.
But until then...
(SNORING)
-(BABBLING)
-(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)
Soda, my only weakness!
This is just great!
You know how hard
it is to clean...
in between my sensitive...
robot parts?
No big deal, Cyborg.
We'll just dismantle you,
clean your parts,
and put you back together.
Dismantle me?
You guys can't even
program a VCR!
VCR?
VCR, 1980s device
that allowed you to tape
television shows even
if you weren't at home.
They mostly used VHS tapes,
even though Betamax was
clearly the superior format.
And nobody knew how
to program that clock on.
I mean, you had to be
like a rocket scientist to
figure that one out.
So they always flashed 12:00.
VCRs revolutionized
home entertainment.
We can handle this, Cyborg.
Looks like I don't have
a choice.
(WHISTLES)
(DRILLING)
(SCREAMS)
There! Clean as
the baby's behind.
It's soft as
a baby's behind, Star.
Those things aren't
usually so clean.
Yes, I am saying
we did an awful job.
Can you just put me
back together?
-That doesn't
go with the...
-(DRILLING)
Be careful with the...
Watch out for my...
Okay, this is not how
I go back together.
(FLUSHING)
I don't know.
I'm pretty sure that's
how I remember you.
-Yup.
-Agreed!
Then what about
all those extra parts?
Yes. Extra parts, Cyborg.
As in, you do not need them.
That's my leg
you're sitting on!
Sorry, Cyborg.
But we've done
everything we can.
You can't leave me like this.
It's undignified.
I feel like Webster.
Webster?
Webster. 1980s TV show,
with that tiny kid who
was like 40 in real life.
You know, his parents die,
so the dad's old football
buddy adopts him.
George Papadopolis
with his wife Katherine.
But Webster calls her "Ma'am."
There's an episode where
he uses a science kit,
even though Ma'am
warns him not to.
And he accidentally burns down
the whole apartment building.
The whole building.
Oh, it was crazy!
I have all six seasons on VHS.
If we can't put your
body back together,
maybe we can upload you
into the tower computer.
Yeah! And then you'd be
completely electronic.
None of that gross
flesh and blood stuff
going on. Heh.
You make a compelling case.
Let's give it a whirl.
Okay, that's good. Ow!
I'm on... Ow!
Thank you! Ow!
It's getting a little
tight in here. Ow!
I'm connected to
all the tower's systems.
(CHUCKLES) Air-conditioning,
doors, lights.
I control it all.
RAVEN: Uh,
can you please turn
the lights back on?
I can! But I won't!
I'm just kidding. I will.
I'm as excited as
The Pointer Sisters.
The Pointer Sisters?
-The Pointer Sisters,
1980s music group.
-Nobody cares!
All I'm saying is now I can
make living at the tower
as awesome as me.
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)
(GROANING)
(SNORING)
(ALARM BEEPING)
(SCREAMING)
(GASPING)
Morning, Beast Boy!
What are you doing?
You know
how you used to ignore
your old alarm clock
and waste the whole day
sleeping in?
Well, not anymore!
'Cause there's no snooze
button on me, baby!
(MIMICS TRUMPETING)
(SURREAL MUSIC PLAYING)
-Hey, Raven.
-(GASPS)
Just wanted to make sure
you're meditating in
an optimum environment.
Doing great! Thanks!
Okay, this is boring.
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
CYBORG: Now this is
how you meditate!
Oh! Meditate with me, y'all.
Oh, meditate with me, Raven.
♪ When there's trouble,
you know who to call
♪ Teen Titans!
♪ From their tower,
they can see it all
♪ Teen Titans! ♪
(GASPS)
Cyborg, what are you
doing in here?
Just trying to
make everything
a little more awesome.
-Missed a spot.
-Get out!
You know how you're
always complaining about
the water pressure.
Don't care, get out!
Yeah, you care.
Check it out!
-(SCREAMS)
-(GLASS BREAKING)
The Cyborg is starting
to tick me up!
I cannot even float my
screebies in peace!
He's everywhere.
We have to get him
out of the computer.
What you guys talkin' about?
Uh, nothing.
After years of being half man,
(VOICE TURNS ROBOTIC)
I'm finally a whole computer.
And now you want to
take that away from me?
Huh! We have no idea
what you're talking about.
We were just... Titans, go!
(GRUNTING)
I'm sorry.
But I can't let you do that!
Oh, yeah?
Well, who's gonna stop us?
I'm part of the tower now.
I have new friends.
(WHIRRING)
I'm fighting a vacuum cleaner.
And losing!
This is embarrassing.
(COFFEE BOILING)
(GROWLING)
(SCREAMING)
Ow! Ow! Ow!
It burns! It burns!
(GROANING) Too many.
The carbs!
Ah! I can't see!
It's over, buddy.
Time to get your
old body back.
You know,
maybe you're right.
I think,
when I lost my body
I lost a little
of my humanity too.
Psych!
(ALL COUGHING)
CYBORG: I love
being a building.
(LAUGHING WICKEDLY)
Ah! Whoa!
Wha... What happened?
I just made you better.
Now you're all part
of the tower like me.
(SCREAMING)
So, anyone want a cup of joe?
I would love some
with my toast.
Oh! No way, check it out!
I can turn
the light on and off
with my tongue.
Seriously, guys,
you're getting
crumbs everywhere.